Endings

Have we not seen the stars
Where the gracious of dreams play?
Crackling fires burning strong
To open hearts and dust decay
Windswept memories of time
Taken without a sound
Unless we find our opening
Leaves scattered on dusky ground
White flag flutters on the breeze
Calling in the last horn
Time to say goodbye
Mourners group forlorn
Casket lowers the deep within
Upon my face a tear
Farewell my brave hero
My self of yesteryear

Stuck

It's a 6-sided shape
Play for children
Imaginative escapes
Building to greatness
A place to live in rows and corners
Hit on the road
Avoiding attacks
Writer's suffering
Block in my tracks

Red Cordial Kids

One, Two, Three
Counting all and Phe
Make a total of eight
Hidden and out of sight
Bouncing around inside
This universal crazy ride
My eight kids causing a riot
Anarchist souls with red cordial diets

We can never tell a soul
Or tell and watch them repel
With thoughts of my bunch
Raising hell or such
Yet I love them all
No matter what comes on

Should I be committed?
I should think it makes sense
I'm a mother of sorts-
Caring for a group like this

To my bus of happy insanity:
My red cordial kids!

Burning times - vision 1

2012 Together we will build
One year till they make it
Then flying off East
Where writers and artists stay
City is high with apartment blocks
Connected by the streams
Consciousness
With this place up high
Shared with you...
A city with a protected lake
Trees and heritage listed space
2013 Together we will live

Tea for Dave

He brewed up a nice pot of tea
Unfurling the leaves in the steam
Like a magical delight
As the aroma takes flight
My green inspiration is free

Possibilities

Open spaces
Gather the stones
Reshaping faces
Moss will turn
Alleviate
Exhilarate
Crazy cult
Winners fault

This movement becoming
This transformation be
Circle of life
Creating moments of me
Motivate
Illuminate
Crazy cult
Winners fault

History keeps
Castles of might
Escape in reason
Justify fight
Right and wrong
Vies for attention
My possible life
My possible future

Dearest

Lasting looks sparkle
My tears both joy and sadness
Love trials complete

Blame it on the moon

Crash, the wash of my heart
Against rocks black as night
Those little streaks
Alone, with the heavens aglow
Her brightness, though not full
And the stillness echoes across us

I remember your face
Hold your touch in my mind
Like a dream it is gone
Like the reality bites my skin
Here, scratching at my soul

Falling down and deeper still
Love, why do i hurt?
It's dark here without you

These lights; bodies above me
Distant beyond imagination
And i see them shine
And i see you too
So far away but so close

I remember you
Somehow from before
Hold you in my heart
Never that will leave
Reality cannot take this from me
Hold you here, Love
Hold you with my love
Shine here with me

Seven forty six

I wonder what you do
When I am not around
I wonder if you think of me
As often I do of you

I wonder whether you remain
Perfect in every way
Or if there's some wild part
Scratching to be released
And when he is free
That's when you become
Who you really are

I long to lie beside you
To wake up and hold you close
I long to lie with you
To embrace your body with mine

I long to be united
Our lives intertwined

Negative space

Have you ever felt
Emptiness like quiet dreams
Something is missing
And thoughts of you come to me
These wishes I entertain

Love Me

Know me truly
Can one only know thyself?
Hold me closely
As if one could possess me
Know my heart
Can one only know truth?
Desire me deeply
As if one could possess me
Love me dearly

Withered roses
Hanging lowly
Broken spells
Forgiving slowly
Let me give myself
Ever golden gates embrace

Know me
Hold me
Desire me
Love me

Who's That Girl?

She, the daughter
Behind faces in darkness
She, the priestess
And sacrificed martyrs

She, the mother
Suckles the babe
She, the goddess
Charge of the moon

She, the spirit
With stars in her eyes
She, the woman
In love....

She is like fire
Like water
Like earth
She is like wind
Powerful in force
She is in everything
Part of this world
Without separateness
She is here
My heart and my soul

She is pure
She is strong
She is the balance
She is the One.

Monthly

Loss
Female stripped
Daggers scratch skin
Curling into your arms
These cycles of cleansing fire

Go Now

Sleep Sleep
Drift into peace
Let go and breathe
Things can wait
I cannot see
Without this rest
A shell I will be

Save tonight

Chase the kaleidoscope dream
And whole cities light up
But nothing can compare to you baby
Hand in hand
Stay with me...

You have been through the sea
Fighting invisible tigers
I know you
Baby we got it
Through the night, till the break of dawn
Shining like the rising sun
You shine like the sun to me

And I know I want to be with you all of my days
On hallowed ground
Here in the endless summer
Here in the summer in my mind

Inner Wisdom Gladly Speaks On Patience

Do not worry dear
The acorn needs time to grow
True love is patient

Train stories - Part 4

Mottled dots of golden light
Shimmer upon the grey
Scratched letters in plastic skins
Hatred embroidered bleeding hearts

Blue with black and cotton balls
Such is nature's plight
Combat Man's suffering
Mottled dots of golden light

People are people

My monologue I know
It's How Why When.
Aged on the last night between wings
Everyone was there.
So I get one hundred
And it's all extremely bad
Way back when.

Kill him. Kill!
We finished at one-thirty.
Didn't even know I did that.
It was hard.

Shh... Don't ruin it. I'll be so excited.
It's coming up soon too.

Listen, we'll be there. Relax. They are all dead.
Fallen. Time to go.

All the voices united as one
In prose, in words immortal
I see it coming from all sides!
It's here, the world and everything breathes out.

Oh it's just you, my mirror.

Train stories - Part 3

White reflections of the past
Collected in one so young
Rolling tobacco dreams
Feet on seat, such demise
Go on then-
Make your mark
So comes four corners
In spirals they seep
Another life is torn
Oh look, a Neo Nazi born!

The Gift

Is it possible, a Love like this?
Sparkles of focus intermittent with sleep
Taken with you; to be taken my wish
My eyes grow heavy and my heart is weak
Dreaming lands calling me near
Set this psyche up for lease
Then I will travel to you, my dear
For I'm a puzzle missing one piece
Life is just a moment's design
A journey has trials, I know
Even happy without you as mine
Though together I'd prefer it so
Let us take this perfect ride
And all my Truth in you I'll confide

Train stories - Part 2

Blue of deepest seas
Such magnificence and flair
Warmth upon my face
Dancing wind in hair


Pinks and whites opening
Deep greens the platform bare
As the creepers take over us
Such Melbourne beauty rare!

Train stories - Part 1

Velvet black with hessian sacks
Weaving in circles as they dance
Soft woollen wraps her
Weathered from the years
Intent and a sigh escapes
Still waiting for completion
Final breath we celebrate
Turquoise time one to spare

My city towers over dark and grey
Shimmers of light play in the air
Roar you metal monster
Ever closer we draw near
Man's voice with declare
Reaching the journey's end

Train of thoughts
Bare seats
And the woman walks away

Everything and Love

I’d kill for love

I’d do anything you’re dreaming of

I’d stay here in this moment

And give in to love

You’re the one i need

The one who makes me bleed

Til every flower falls

I’ll be the one you see

Home

I am not sure whether to laugh or cry
But it seems you've come back home
And i missed while you were gone
Though here yet not-
I think i might be okay now

New blooms

Nervous flowers bloom
In the wintery scape
Sun warms the earth
Where icy shards break
Green begins to show
Here welcoming the new world
Your love sweeps out
The cobwebs in my heart

Blah

I wish i had the pizazz
To write something poetic
But in my head is wishy-washy
This empty blah of death
I am without my direction
Formed by two parts
One of you
One of me
Me i've got down-pat
Me i know quite well
You have gone walkabout
So far as I can tell

Ever want

Breathe into you the warmth in me
Dreams are not fantasy
Now i see all in the world of perfection
And falling into submission
Once desire takes me
Without another thought
Ever wanting to be with you
Ever lasting in my heart

Journeys ever lasting

create this-

listening to her
she speaks
without
a word
without
her heart
without
her mind

committed in love

rain falling
mud underfoot
those dark ages of before

one more day will pass
and she will see

such is our love
such is our pain

nothing is what you think

under over inside out
outer skins peel to reveal us
no masks

and He loves you for you

need for escape

light shards like daggers
piercing screams overwhelming
love take me away

come save me
come save me
and release this pain
i hold

The Infamous L

What is it?
How to define it...
A feeling
Is a word
Is a song
Is a breath
Is a moment in time

What is it?
How do I know it's here...
A feeling
Is a touch
Is a sense
Is a gift
Is a moment in time

Is it now?
Was it then?
Could it be?

Untitled

Darkness glides across the heath
Warmth disappearing as cool air hits us
Breathe in icy end
Breathe out alone
My heart alive with sparks of sun
The black damp
The empty chair
The casket lowers
Roses wilt and let go

Just a thought...

The greatest love is
Always act to serve others
Whilst knowing the Self

Funny how things shift...

Did not expect this-
To meet someone quite like you
Sweep me off my feet!

Grand Prix

Pumping grind fuel
Flag drops loaded for the race
Speeding dizziness

Clearer

I think I see
Why the shrouded cloaks
I think I understand
And find my way home

I need to know everything
To be good for You
I need to have all the words written
Before me

I think I see
If You can be that
Then I can be Yours too

Where I am

Shattered glass
Cracks appear far before the fall
Should I look at myself now?

Steeped in depths of feeling
Unknown sorts not defined
Is this out of context?

Twisted torture in the darkness
Such need not be
Yet the break away of the familiar
Keeps waking me at night

Such sleepless days cause my heart to explode
With unruly activity
Not that which is entirely true

Do I rein myself in?
Do I let myself go?

Cyclical years
A decade
Three
I am not the Master of me
I am not the Master

Shattered glass

Cracks appear far before the fall

Catching light in their cutting ways

Bleeding resistance is all that's left

Should I look at myself now?

Don't hurt me

Don't treat me the same
As I've had before
I need love too

Don't expect everything
And give me nothing
I need love too

Don't ask me to give my heart
If you're staying cold
I need love too

If I bare my soul
I am vulnerable

Please don't hurt me

Gracious desire

Silken webs glimmering
In the dusky creeps
Patches of light catching
Silver and blue
Lying on My back
Grass shards blowing like reeds
Over the Summer haze
And thoughts of You

Simple things as Nature envelops Her
Allowing and giving release
Dizzy spells from heightened heart beats
Fallen into present remembering
Dreams fantastical delight

Shan't tell them-
Against Vanilla skies of common decree

Homeward finding suggestive cues
Reside along the while
Ever missing - misunderstanding
That which is not I
Hopeless romantic
And surrender-
My wish beneath Your sky

Hello, You

You awoke
In a burning paperhouse
From the infinite fields
Of dreamless sleep

Sensual, tender, smooth
Sexual panther, beautifully cool
Hope remains with the ghost in you

No longer doubtful
Of what I'm living for
Invisible chains are those that weigh
Most heavily
And after all this time
I just hope you understand
My love

Inner Wisdom Gladly Speaks on Getting Found

I am here always
Falling into you not him
Get found through self love

Death to Self

Scary but I die
Each moment changes slowly
Loving free; let go
To become my ideal self
I must first kill who I am

About today

Pain inside
Anger
Also sadness
Feel like I did something wrong
Made all that effort
No reward
Want to cry
But can't
Stuck in public
Alone
Yearning for home
Safety
Comfort
Allowance of expression

You've got mail

Snailmail!
Sudden Excitement
Address Mrs B
Shit - Damn it all
Can't I start over yet?

$#@!

I don't know why it still shits me
You being such a stupid dick
Perhaps it's the simple fact you say one thing
And act another way
You're angry at me for the phone
But it's mine to do as I wish
And anyway I never was mean to you
You ungrateful little shit
Really I tried so bloody hard
To make your life easier
You can't even see it - even now...
Time goes by
And yet you act with such contempt
Drawing others to do your dirty work
It's not like I didn't tell you
Or let you know at all
In fact I was quite transparent
Clear
And kind
Sometimes kindness is being firm
Yes I'm frustrated
And you're still fucking up
Perhaps I made a good decision
Thinking - for me, you weren't enough?

Inner Wisdom Gladly Speaks on Love

If you seek you find
Spaces between us knowing
Love comes to itself

What is art?

Do I need that black barre
To be an perfect artiste
It's smirking snobbery at least
Sipping wine, operas and ballet
Fresh grass and peach bouquet
Eyes embrace the lasting feast
As with the critics we are released
Seemingly, we rest and believe the cliche

Why cannot art be free
Allowing it's own plight
The truth is we're fighting the system
Expressing our undying right
Fucking up the stanza's doesn't mean it's not art
Just means I'm a true artiste; creating from the heart

Screw you perfection.

To a higher love

Finally release
Broken dreams; new beginnings
It is about time!

Lonely Prince

You don't know me
Do you?

You don't see me
Like I see you.

How could you really see
When your eyes are closed
If you cry out you know best
Without anything opposed
How could you really see
When you're acting out of fear
Hiding in-between others views
And lying with wet bodies

Once upon a time
There was a lonely prince
And a lonely princess
To solve his emptiness
But in the changing scape came
One so powerful and strong
Pulled them apart
Until she walked away and shone

Where did he go?
That tired and lonely prince...

Where no-one can see him-
Professing he is free!

A fleeting thought

Silent
Slowly
Softly
Quietening breath

Waves
Wading
Washing
Falling into the blue deep

Likened to another dream
In colour; unlike a future goal
Trees with rustling leaves
Golden and red fires at dusk

Scattered

What a mess
Distracted thoughts
Think I said things that were
Misconstrued

What a mess
Procrastination rife
Should've Would've Could've
Might have done something else
But didn't

Tripping over my own humanness
Inadequacies of being alive
Making mistakes
Or just being me

Perhaps there are no faults
But my own over-analyzing brain
Thinking things that aren't true
Claiming things that are not as such...

What a mess
What a bloody awful mess
Messy head
Messy thoughts
Distracted

Just because I think you are cool!

Phoenix

Heat rising. Fire.
Droplets liquid nitrogen.
Rebirth through trials.

Lost in the wild

Damn it
Damn it
I'm doing it again
And it's not like I'm stopping myself

Getting carried away
Making things up
Writing the future
Just lost

Damn it
Where are you, Ro?

Cornflakes?

Scratching rusty nails
Medication inspires me
This blasted sore throat

Mornings!!

Bloody alarm radio
The 6 AM wake-up call
Apartment living

New found space

Something has changed here
Quite a nice feeling inside
I think it's freedom
There is no suffering now
Rather- space flows in my heart

Unexpected

I didn't quite expect
A night like this one
But yet it was still with good points
Nice to see myself being myself
And comfortable at last

See, I told you so

You'd never say that though
So it's just my Ego-
Talking to myself again

Rosy Cheeks

Blush, not just to swoon
The glass is empty
Tranquil vibes
And laughter with good friends

Another one?

Assessments

Finished
Tafe assessment
Word template design
Wish I got feedback
Should start my supervision essay

Caffiene Downer

Heavy eyelids low
Coffee last night a mistake
These consequences

Ah ha!

I think I've finally figured it out
That you always look to female teachers
For approval
I wonder what Freud would say about that
Perhaps you're stuck in a developmental stage
Or Erikson might think you're struggling in competence
Trying to see what your worth really is
And working hard at being "responsible", "good", and "right"

Regardless of the theories
I've noticed this in you
As it reflects on me I wonder whether
That's why you said you'd always do
Whatever made me "happy"
Instead of being yourself
With mistakes
Flaws
And authenticity!

That's all I wanted...

Maybe this is why you strive to follow others
And claim the beliefs as your own?
It is simply an observation of mine
And it makes a lot of sense
Why is it so important to you
To have that womanly approval?
I don't think you'll find out who you really are
Until you see that this is your motivation

How sad...

Here's to Honesty!

Oh God, it looks like i might be
Steeped into a unknown feeling
Crush, I think they call it
Alas he is far too young
Remembering my age

I think I need to re-evaluate
So instead i just sit back and enjoy the view

Here I am again with that feeling
Of flirtatious desire
That's the joy of being single - shame he's not 30!

Changing seasons

Welcome
Autumn arrives
Colder nights days
Shivering under bed sheets
Time to rediscover hot chocolate!

Forgotten?

I can't remember
The last time I felt so free
Happiness inside

Breakfast

Had a fluid breakfast
Banana protein thickshake
Funny how it feels
To drink so much one morning
Imagine it not blended

Deleted but not forgotten

Deleted you-
But not forgotten

Removed you-
From my life

Those memories I still hold on to
That love I still have inside
I guess you are elsewhere
One day we'll be alright

The End
Another beginning
Final words have been said
Though it doesn't matter what I say,
The love we shared is dead

On my finger was a ring
One that I thought I'd always wear
But you did not fight for me
My finger is now bare

So here we reach
That destination
That place where two roads part
This is the time that I
Look after my sad heart

I cut this last cord
I break this last spell
I end this now this time
I let go of you
I walk away
I know there's no going back
And with all of this I'm fine

You will always have
A special place in my heart

But no more will I wait
If you want me, come and find me-

Until then, goodbye my friend

This is
The End.

Her loving rays

Never really knew what it was
Until now
The warmth of love
Calm caressing soul
From within she appears
From within she speaks
From within it calls

Her loving rays
Like sunshine
Her kindness
Like an angel
Her unconditional everything
Perfect and true

Sitting here alone
But figuratively with so many
All the others
The ones that were cast out
Now back together again

Coming home
Remember me?

I've missed you

Autumn

Sun gives way to rain
I awake to morning chill
A change comes at last!

Sleep now

Sandman come take me
I feel I'm drifting away
Into the dream realm

This is love

I have found a new love
Irresistible and smooth
Sweet kisses and tender heart

I have found a new love
Handsome and kind
Spending time together is perfection

I have found a new love
In the form of an egg
Chocolatey goodness
Such contentful bliss!

A kind reminder

Something happens.

Realize the you have all the tools you need already. They are here, inside.
Find yourself and smile.
Concentrate on your breathing, and slow down.
Feel your connection to the universe.
Become a love radiator.

Focus.

Repeat.

Start to see the change and be surprised.

Love is catchy!

The Final Cord

I cannot live like this anymore
It's not that I don't care
I just see this interrupting us
A cord which we must tear

Inner Wisdom Gladly Speaks on Honouring the past

Let them come and go
Organic and free like clouds
Looking back with love

Thinking of you

Dreaming
Chocolate mousse
Smooth fluffy texture
Wish you were here
Gazing into thoughts only musing

There is love in the ashes

Turning inwards
Looking backwards
Dreaming skyward
Falling down

There it is
Beholden
There it was
Golden
Now it's gone
Dust

This love in which we trust.

Indecision

Should I consider how my time is spent?
Each day goes by much like the last
You're in my thoughts, my loving past
Days blur into weeks, cruel lament
I hope you'll come back is my intent
Though my white flag flies at half mast
You know me; but you keep acting in contrast
Every time I reach out, you pull back with dissent
Then strangely when i want space, you appear
Wanting to connect you suddenly say
And you seem calm, my love; i think you'll stay
Your indecisive actions confuse me; it's not clear
If it is not your intention to hold me close
Then just go away and remain a ghost!

You

I didn't really think of you today
Just a passing glimpse
Then I let it go
And only at times when I was most bored
I thought of you enjoying this stuff
And then I thought of us and what we had
Only briefly

Later on I thought of you
But not like you must think
I thought of you thinking I was pining
I thought how you'd be believing I am
I thought how funny it was
That you don't seem to be that important anymore

I thought this all perhaps 5 minutes
And I thought how things change

I thought about if you'd want me
And how I'd react now
I thought about it....

I don't know whether I'd want you back

Inner Wisdom Gladly Speaks on Letting Go

Mysteries may be
The true course of letting go
Forward without doubt

Fish Out of Water

Started something new
Hopeful chance of sports placement
Tafe - Not what I thought
Where is the challenge to find
When everything is spelled out?

Goodnight

Goodnight
Rest now
Moving bed-wards
Heavy calm drifting away
Dreaming for lovers and me

Where it all began and back again

Started with a tear
Falling free without a care
Only sadness here

Embraced but afraid
Changes like flowers in bloom
Learn to fly again

Let go they all say
Feel without his presence stay
Self love should prevail

Time takes time to see
To hear to know to trust it
But what I desire

Perhaps my heart needs
Some kind of understanding
Which he cannot give

Maybe I need me
Maybe I need to believe
That I am worthy

My love is so great
But he cannot hear me yet
I shout to the wind

Alone and lonely
Thinking of this; what has passed
And I remember

So in clarity
I begin anew to find
Something for myself

This journey begins
As I write these words in prose
My thoughts can be heard

To celebrate me
Wisdom; a perfect art of
Loving poetry